Avoiding Unproductive Guilt and Confronting Truth
Jan. 7th, 2026 02:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unspeakablehorrorI think there's a tendency to do one of two politically harmful things: one of which is to mistake self-punishment for politically restorative action, another is to mistake an active choice to remain politically ignorant for avoiding the former.
I think it is important to avoid both of these tendencies. We must guard against the tendency to criticize ourselves merely for the sake of criticism, as if our guilt alone somehow cleanses us of culpability. We must guard against the attempt to expose ourselves to the negative merely for the sake of it, but also against the tendency to avoid the negative and the unpleasant because we assume political futility; because we assume there is no value in knowledge that may be difficult or upsetting for us to confront. Because there is value in that knowledge--confronting that knowledge is the first necessary step to the actions that can heal our world.
I think it is important to avoid both of these tendencies. We must guard against the tendency to criticize ourselves merely for the sake of criticism, as if our guilt alone somehow cleanses us of culpability. We must guard against the attempt to expose ourselves to the negative merely for the sake of it, but also against the tendency to avoid the negative and the unpleasant because we assume political futility; because we assume there is no value in knowledge that may be difficult or upsetting for us to confront. Because there is value in that knowledge--confronting that knowledge is the first necessary step to the actions that can heal our world.
Need to have a word with past-me
Jan. 7th, 2026 08:12 amvriddyA couple of days ago, I dug out a Wind Breaker fic I've been puttering on since June last year... Honestly, it's just every single character involved in this panel losing their shit over what happened in that moment, because why should I be the only one suffering?! But anyway, slapping an ending on it has been hard, with a lot of false starts. I outlined another one that's meh and started writing it -- at some point, one just needs to finish things!! There are a lot of good lines in the first few chapters at least XD
Then this morning I went back to edit the kn8 fic, as usual. Once I was done, I checked the notes app on my phone because I'm going somewhere today that I haven't been to in a long time, and sometimes I leave myself tips about directions, how long it actually takes, things like that.
I scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled to try to find a note from around that time (which didn't actually exist btw), and stumbled across a detailed note with... an ending for that fic?! One that includes a super fun concept I'd never have thought of except apparently I did?! *shakes past-me* WHY DID YOU NOT TELL MEEEE?!?!!! Haha. I'll have to remove/adjust some of the stuff I wrote a couple of days ago because the characters are in different locations, but I really really want to use that idea now in some way now XD
Thank you past-me............ I guess?! Hahaha
Then this morning I went back to edit the kn8 fic, as usual. Once I was done, I checked the notes app on my phone because I'm going somewhere today that I haven't been to in a long time, and sometimes I leave myself tips about directions, how long it actually takes, things like that.
I scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled to try to find a note from around that time (which didn't actually exist btw), and stumbled across a detailed note with... an ending for that fic?! One that includes a super fun concept I'd never have thought of except apparently I did?! *shakes past-me* WHY DID YOU NOT TELL MEEEE?!?!!! Haha. I'll have to remove/adjust some of the stuff I wrote a couple of days ago because the characters are in different locations, but I really really want to use that idea now in some way now XD
Thank you past-me............ I guess?! Hahaha
*dusts off my obsolete, definitely-legally-acquired version of photoshop*
Jan. 7th, 2026 04:07 pmautumninplutoI icon shopped from various DW communities the whole day and got inspired to make icons myself. I haven't slept yet.
Anyway, check them out at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
joicon 💞 There's only 1 post so far, but I'll slowly work on it.
Another Year is Happening
Jan. 7th, 2026 02:27 amfh14I didn't use this account much last year because, as I alluded to in my last couple of posts, the first half of 2025 was pretty bad in most areas of my life. By the time things got notably better around June, I was making more of an effort to do things outside of my apartment and away from the internet in general, which led me to essentially dropping any writing/specific television plans I was tentatively making. Ended up watching most of Death in Paradise in the background when I was at home. I've been keeping up with my gacha games, which is about as consistent as I was with anything last year.
Probably the biggest change in terms of my media diet was that I started watching anime again. I resumed these review threads I had been making the past few years, this time on Bluesky rather than Twitter. The most notable thing is I got caught up on Jujutsu Kaisen after putting off the second season for ages, and I got to see the special compilation film in theaters last month.
Some additional recent highlights:
☆ Anime: I was starting to get the itch at the beginning of 2025, but I finally fell back into watching anime in earnest starting with a rewatch of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! in order to watch the follow-up movie. It was the second season of My Dress-Up Darling, possibly my favorite anime of 2025, that fully cemented my return, and the summer craze of The Summer Hikaru Died gave me a really nice communal feeling of watching an anime that I haven't felt in years.
I'm already watching current shows and diving into my backlog. Coincidentally, a bunch of my favorite longer running shows are ending this year, such as Fire Force and Dr. Stone. A usual anime convention is off my roster now so I'm keen to seek out more in order to keep myself busy and in the culture.
☆ Television: Despite all the drama and production issues behind the scenes, I actually really loved most of the most recent season of Doctor Who and The War Between the Land and the Sea. Considering we won't be getting anything new until the Christmas Special at the end of the year, I may end up writing out more of my thoughts on the RTD2 era and the episodes I loved and hated in it, as well as finally finish that long-postponed Wilderness years watch.
Like the rest of the world, I fell in love with Heated Rivalry. As a queer man who is the same age at the same time as both of the lead characters, and came out of the closet on a similar timeline, I resonated with a lot of it despite not being a hot sexy pro athlete. As I said above, I fell into a pattern of marathoning through Death in Paradise at a very rapid pace (with breaks between detective changes, much like how I watched Classic Doctor Who). I also went back and watched some "older" queer television shows like the UK Queer as Folk and Sordid Lives, and I really want to keep that up this year (especially the US Queer as Folk, which I've been curious about since I was a teenager but was too scared to watch.)
The one property that, especially the past few months, that has really fallen off for me is Drag Race. The production and discourse around All Stars 10 is a nightmare that continues to this day (in part because certain cast members can't shut the fuck up) and the seventh season of UK was easily the worst of the UK franchise and might be the most excruciatingly boring of all of them. I've also experienced more (but not enough) drag shows in real life and it's really lowered my opinion of some of the people who get on the show with a clear lack of skill and gas themselves up. The recent seasons of Spain and Canada have been excellent, but in all honesty the rumors of Nicole Paige Brooks being cast on Australia vs the World is what's keeping me hanging on at this point.
☆ Gaming: I'm still playing and enjoying Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, and Wuthering Waves. Genshin and WuWa are in a particularly strong spot right now in my opinion, whereas HSR is in a really weird one. Phainon and Mydei as characters have rewired my brain and I'm lowkey mad I haven't been able to write any fic for them, but that's due in part to the issues I've been having with the game aside from the Currency Wars game mode. The current diplomatic issues between China and Japan has also apparently led to the game scrapping assets for what would have been a Japan-themed region scheduled to drop in a month, so I'm very worried about what this quickly-edited next year of the game will be like. The story of the past year's content was way too bloated and I'm worried this could be a lethal blow to the game.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons also announced, out of nowhere, that there's going to be a new 3.0 update. However, I've been having technical issues with my Switch where controllers won't sync with it, not even the joycons unless they're physically attached, but the months-long issue I've had with my PC has taken precedence.
☆ Theatre: A "new" category for these kinds of posts, but I don't live that far from New York City, and I've come to realize that my only real obstacle to seeing Broadway shows is cost. Logistically, it's actually not that hard? So in the past few months I've seen Beetlejuice and Hamilton on Broadway, and Messy White Gays Off-Broadway. I'm hoping to see more shows in the coming year, such as Oh Mary!, but I also want to see if I can continue my trend in seeing shows with other people and not just settling for going solo (which I'm fine with doing, it's just more fun with other people).
I could go into more things (like concerts and trips) but I think that hits most things I'm interested in talking about on here. I always say I want to post more and then I don't, but I honestly would. It's nice to go back and see what I was up to and what my headspace was like, even if it's just a list of the media I'm consuming. I do want to do more in-depth reviews like I've done in the past, but time will tell.
Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully the rest of it is better than the first week has been.
Probably the biggest change in terms of my media diet was that I started watching anime again. I resumed these review threads I had been making the past few years, this time on Bluesky rather than Twitter. The most notable thing is I got caught up on Jujutsu Kaisen after putting off the second season for ages, and I got to see the special compilation film in theaters last month.
Some additional recent highlights:
☆ Anime: I was starting to get the itch at the beginning of 2025, but I finally fell back into watching anime in earnest starting with a rewatch of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! in order to watch the follow-up movie. It was the second season of My Dress-Up Darling, possibly my favorite anime of 2025, that fully cemented my return, and the summer craze of The Summer Hikaru Died gave me a really nice communal feeling of watching an anime that I haven't felt in years.
I'm already watching current shows and diving into my backlog. Coincidentally, a bunch of my favorite longer running shows are ending this year, such as Fire Force and Dr. Stone. A usual anime convention is off my roster now so I'm keen to seek out more in order to keep myself busy and in the culture.
☆ Television: Despite all the drama and production issues behind the scenes, I actually really loved most of the most recent season of Doctor Who and The War Between the Land and the Sea. Considering we won't be getting anything new until the Christmas Special at the end of the year, I may end up writing out more of my thoughts on the RTD2 era and the episodes I loved and hated in it, as well as finally finish that long-postponed Wilderness years watch.
Like the rest of the world, I fell in love with Heated Rivalry. As a queer man who is the same age at the same time as both of the lead characters, and came out of the closet on a similar timeline, I resonated with a lot of it despite not being a hot sexy pro athlete. As I said above, I fell into a pattern of marathoning through Death in Paradise at a very rapid pace (with breaks between detective changes, much like how I watched Classic Doctor Who). I also went back and watched some "older" queer television shows like the UK Queer as Folk and Sordid Lives, and I really want to keep that up this year (especially the US Queer as Folk, which I've been curious about since I was a teenager but was too scared to watch.)
The one property that, especially the past few months, that has really fallen off for me is Drag Race. The production and discourse around All Stars 10 is a nightmare that continues to this day (in part because certain cast members can't shut the fuck up) and the seventh season of UK was easily the worst of the UK franchise and might be the most excruciatingly boring of all of them. I've also experienced more (but not enough) drag shows in real life and it's really lowered my opinion of some of the people who get on the show with a clear lack of skill and gas themselves up. The recent seasons of Spain and Canada have been excellent, but in all honesty the rumors of Nicole Paige Brooks being cast on Australia vs the World is what's keeping me hanging on at this point.
☆ Gaming: I'm still playing and enjoying Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, and Wuthering Waves. Genshin and WuWa are in a particularly strong spot right now in my opinion, whereas HSR is in a really weird one. Phainon and Mydei as characters have rewired my brain and I'm lowkey mad I haven't been able to write any fic for them, but that's due in part to the issues I've been having with the game aside from the Currency Wars game mode. The current diplomatic issues between China and Japan has also apparently led to the game scrapping assets for what would have been a Japan-themed region scheduled to drop in a month, so I'm very worried about what this quickly-edited next year of the game will be like. The story of the past year's content was way too bloated and I'm worried this could be a lethal blow to the game.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons also announced, out of nowhere, that there's going to be a new 3.0 update. However, I've been having technical issues with my Switch where controllers won't sync with it, not even the joycons unless they're physically attached, but the months-long issue I've had with my PC has taken precedence.
☆ Theatre: A "new" category for these kinds of posts, but I don't live that far from New York City, and I've come to realize that my only real obstacle to seeing Broadway shows is cost. Logistically, it's actually not that hard? So in the past few months I've seen Beetlejuice and Hamilton on Broadway, and Messy White Gays Off-Broadway. I'm hoping to see more shows in the coming year, such as Oh Mary!, but I also want to see if I can continue my trend in seeing shows with other people and not just settling for going solo (which I'm fine with doing, it's just more fun with other people).
I could go into more things (like concerts and trips) but I think that hits most things I'm interested in talking about on here. I always say I want to post more and then I don't, but I honestly would. It's nice to go back and see what I was up to and what my headspace was like, even if it's just a list of the media I'm consuming. I do want to do more in-depth reviews like I've done in the past, but time will tell.
Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully the rest of it is better than the first week has been.
What's Making Me Happy Today: Flight of the Icaron
Jan. 6th, 2026 10:17 pmdelphiThe actual-play audio drama podcast ![[youtube.com profile]](https://youtube.com/favicon.ico)
worldsbeyondnumber just started a short science fiction campaign, Flight of the Icaron, and the first episode knocked it out of the park.
Official Summary:
We have Aabria Iyengar as space mining mogul Kiki Davis, Brennan Lee Mulligan as engineer and father Andrei Dalca, and Erika Ishii as troubled young tragedy survivor Vera "Fishcakes" Lam—with Lou Wilson as GM, bringing some top-notch narration and NPC work that immediately has this feeling like a fully fledged universe full of characters with long histories and established relationships. There's a weight and rootedness to the worldbuilding and plot, but there's also still plenty of humour, especially in a recurring bit about trying to heist the good herbed Cheddar from a boring government party. I'm hooked, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the series!
Official Summary:
This is the maiden voyage of the Icaron - Earth’s first S-Class Battle Station. This demonstration flight has been certified as routine by all relevant oversight bodies. Systems have been tested, personnel vetted, and contingencies reviewed. Passengers are reminded that the Icaron represents the highest standard of planetary defense engineering.
Please remain seated.
We have Aabria Iyengar as space mining mogul Kiki Davis, Brennan Lee Mulligan as engineer and father Andrei Dalca, and Erika Ishii as troubled young tragedy survivor Vera "Fishcakes" Lam—with Lou Wilson as GM, bringing some top-notch narration and NPC work that immediately has this feeling like a fully fledged universe full of characters with long histories and established relationships. There's a weight and rootedness to the worldbuilding and plot, but there's also still plenty of humour, especially in a recurring bit about trying to heist the good herbed Cheddar from a boring government party. I'm hooked, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the series!
Setting, nurturing, and maintaining writing habits in 2026
Jan. 6th, 2026 09:19 pmscintilla10For this year, I'm going to try participating in a few things to help nurture and maintain habits related to writing and creative practice. We'll see how they feel!
cultivativity | Welcome & FAQ post
getyourwordsout | Pledges & Requirements for 2026 Participation
I've never signed up to GYWO before! I decided to try a Habit Pledge. I chose The Excursionist level, which is writing for 180 days over the year (approx 15 days/month). This feels ambitious but not impossible to me, and I think working towards building a habit of regular writing will be more fruitful for me than monitoring my wordcounts.
I'm also going to try doing Fannish 50 again! "Make fifty posts about topics related to fandom. You may set any theme(s) you wish, or pick random topics for each post." The info & sign-up post for 2026 is here.
cultivativity | Welcome & FAQ postThis is a space for cultivating creativity.
This is not set up as a challenge, as that implies competition or accountability to produce something (which are fun activities, and for which there are several other communities available). Rather, this community is organized as a series of modules designed to help build a practice to nurture our creative selves. Do the things you want, ignore the ones that don't.
getyourwordsout | Pledges & Requirements for 2026 ParticipationI've never signed up to GYWO before! I decided to try a Habit Pledge. I chose The Excursionist level, which is writing for 180 days over the year (approx 15 days/month). This feels ambitious but not impossible to me, and I think working towards building a habit of regular writing will be more fruitful for me than monitoring my wordcounts.
I'm also going to try doing Fannish 50 again! "Make fifty posts about topics related to fandom. You may set any theme(s) you wish, or pick random topics for each post." The info & sign-up post for 2026 is here.
Goals for 2026
Jan. 6th, 2026 11:29 pmsoc_puppetAs long as I'm thinking about it, here's some things I want to do in 2026:
Publish at least two more fics
Work on the pigeon mood theme
Properly assume my role as Monarch of Mood Themes on Dreamwidth
Become more/better employed
I feel like those are all things I can accomplish!
I feel like those are all things I can accomplish!
Vegan Food Shouldn't Be So Hard
Jan. 6th, 2026 11:23 pmunspeakablehorrorThe only reason it's ever more difficult to eat vegan is due to the selective way that that food is stocked in grocery stores and what is presented in restaurants.
Most of it is relatively easy to veganize, certainly nothing that would be beyond the current abilities of stores and restaurants. And this would certainly not be preserving the 'just pay more for stuff with cheaper ingredients' nonsense or 'just put up with an extremely abbreviated range of choices' nonsense or the 'just remove the meat leaving a sad shell of a meal' nonsense or the 'serve something completely different and unrelated to the regular theme of the restaurant' nonsense that is so often employed for vegan food replacements.
Like the primary reason processed vegan food is often so comparatively expensive is that it doesn't have access to the economies of scale that nonvegan food does. If it did we'd be able to get huge blocks of vegan cheese for less than it costs to make dairy cheese. Likewise, there's no inherent reasons that there needs to be fewer types of vegan options available. In my vegan utopia, there will be as many options of vegan cheese as there is dairy cheese in our current meat dystopia. More options, even! Vegan green cheese with vegan green ham! Vegan bleu cheese and Star Wars style vegan blue cheese! And more!
Also, why is it so common to think that the vegan version of a dish is just the meat version with the meat removed? If I want a replacement for spaghetti and meatballs, I want a vegan substitute for the meatballs. You can't just say, "Oh, I veganized spaghetti and meatballs" and then just give me a plain spaghetti with marinara, no parmesan! Unacceptable! Vegan meatballs are cheap and no more difficult to produce than murder meatballs. Even making vegan parmesan at home is just a few ingredients, a food processor, and a few minutes of time away. Am I to believe restaurants cannot possibly handle this?
Also, if the theme of the restaurant is barbecue, why is the vegan dish a hummus platter? Am I to believe that barbecue soy curls or seitan or jackfruit or tofu are all somehow too hard for a restaurant?
Like the only reason any of this is ever comparatively harder for customers is because of an active, concerted effort by suppliers to suck up to the meat and animal products industries.
Most of it is relatively easy to veganize, certainly nothing that would be beyond the current abilities of stores and restaurants. And this would certainly not be preserving the 'just pay more for stuff with cheaper ingredients' nonsense or 'just put up with an extremely abbreviated range of choices' nonsense or the 'just remove the meat leaving a sad shell of a meal' nonsense or the 'serve something completely different and unrelated to the regular theme of the restaurant' nonsense that is so often employed for vegan food replacements.
Like the primary reason processed vegan food is often so comparatively expensive is that it doesn't have access to the economies of scale that nonvegan food does. If it did we'd be able to get huge blocks of vegan cheese for less than it costs to make dairy cheese. Likewise, there's no inherent reasons that there needs to be fewer types of vegan options available. In my vegan utopia, there will be as many options of vegan cheese as there is dairy cheese in our current meat dystopia. More options, even! Vegan green cheese with vegan green ham! Vegan bleu cheese and Star Wars style vegan blue cheese! And more!
Also, why is it so common to think that the vegan version of a dish is just the meat version with the meat removed? If I want a replacement for spaghetti and meatballs, I want a vegan substitute for the meatballs. You can't just say, "Oh, I veganized spaghetti and meatballs" and then just give me a plain spaghetti with marinara, no parmesan! Unacceptable! Vegan meatballs are cheap and no more difficult to produce than murder meatballs. Even making vegan parmesan at home is just a few ingredients, a food processor, and a few minutes of time away. Am I to believe restaurants cannot possibly handle this?
Also, if the theme of the restaurant is barbecue, why is the vegan dish a hummus platter? Am I to believe that barbecue soy curls or seitan or jackfruit or tofu are all somehow too hard for a restaurant?
Like the only reason any of this is ever comparatively harder for customers is because of an active, concerted effort by suppliers to suck up to the meat and animal products industries.
the curse of having nothing (everything) to do
Jan. 7th, 2026 12:15 amasuraidmostly a curse of like where i have a list of to-do things for either cleaning up (uploading my final bear blog posts here), funsies (site work), game stuff (minecraft forever world) ... and none of them seem appealing
either cause my brain is fixated on something i cant do (waiting to get my color tcg cards from events which yknow. i have to wait for), or wants to do nothing!!! and it sucks!!!!!! either that or i go downstairs and eat food at like. midnight
either cause my brain is fixated on something i cant do (waiting to get my color tcg cards from events which yknow. i have to wait for), or wants to do nothing!!! and it sucks!!!!!! either that or i go downstairs and eat food at like. midnight
Online Parasites
Jan. 7th, 2026 12:01 amno_apologies(Mood: Aggressive. Intense. Angsty. Unapologetic. Blunt honesty. Vulnerable. Genre: Screamo/emo and metalcore. There will be some multiple emotions set into the lyrics. I'm weaponizing this song as well as opening up about some evil, deceiving people who took advantage.)
( Lyrics )
Banger!! I love the tempo that fuels the rage that Fritz and the band perform for me. These guys, mannnn--they still perform their asses off. They really are my support band!! <3
( Lyrics )
Banger!! I love the tempo that fuels the rage that Fritz and the band perform for me. These guys, mannnn--they still perform their asses off. They really are my support band!! <3
(no subject)
Jan. 6th, 2026 08:56 pmdustbunny105Slowly getting used to the new status quo at work. They've actually given me a helper! She's pretty new and so can't work that fast and I have to check all her cases for now but obviously that'll change with time. And it's a little slow coming back from New Year's so this is the time for that sort of thing.
And! Guess what? She likes Transformers too!
And! Guess what? She likes Transformers too!
First 2026 (not Sunday) Check In - Miami Vice edition
Jan. 6th, 2026 11:25 pmmxcatmoon No, it's not Sunday, but I haven't done any of these in a while, and that's the title of my post series, so.
I've written two stories this year so far, which is a good start even though they're both short. I've got to get cracking on my prompt fill for
Small Fandom Fest, too. Yikes! And I've got my main series to work on, and a continuation of a fic that was originally only going to be a short one-shot, but popular demand inspired me to expand it...
This show, this show. I can't believe the stuff it has me doing! I'm almost ashamed to admit. Stuff I swore I would never do. Like sign up with TikTok. Forgive me. I still hate it. I only want to see Miami Vice related vids, and the short length of a lot of them is ridiculous. I found a new-to-me artist though, who posted one of his songs to an MV video. But serious, I really hate it. Very annoying site.
I post a lot of episode reactions on Tumblr now, instead of just lurking like I used to do. I've been taking notes and making screencaps as I watch the episodes. I'm considering making some gifs, now that I have the means to do it... Heck, if I had the patience I could make music videos. I made a Sonny/Rico playlist (well, several of them on my classic Media Player, but one online for sharing). I've started making memes, and oh yeah, I've also started using screenshots/photos to make Titles for my fanfic. Sheesh!
I was just lurking on r/Miami Vice on Reddit and thinking about how this show truly had something for everyone. Men, women, people of all genders and sexual orientations, slash fans, action fans, cishet men who loved the cars/boats/guns/bikini-clad women, there was POC diversity, social commentary that's still relevant today, gorgeous men... And we're all still here thirty years later, happy as pigs in shit. 😀😁🤣
I've written two stories this year so far, which is a good start even though they're both short. I've got to get cracking on my prompt fill for
Small Fandom Fest, too. Yikes! And I've got my main series to work on, and a continuation of a fic that was originally only going to be a short one-shot, but popular demand inspired me to expand it...
This show, this show. I can't believe the stuff it has me doing! I'm almost ashamed to admit. Stuff I swore I would never do. Like sign up with TikTok. Forgive me. I still hate it. I only want to see Miami Vice related vids, and the short length of a lot of them is ridiculous. I found a new-to-me artist though, who posted one of his songs to an MV video. But serious, I really hate it. Very annoying site.
I post a lot of episode reactions on Tumblr now, instead of just lurking like I used to do. I've been taking notes and making screencaps as I watch the episodes. I'm considering making some gifs, now that I have the means to do it... Heck, if I had the patience I could make music videos. I made a Sonny/Rico playlist (well, several of them on my classic Media Player, but one online for sharing). I've started making memes, and oh yeah, I've also started using screenshots/photos to make Titles for my fanfic. Sheesh!
I was just lurking on r/Miami Vice on Reddit and thinking about how this show truly had something for everyone. Men, women, people of all genders and sexual orientations, slash fans, action fans, cishet men who loved the cars/boats/guns/bikini-clad women, there was POC diversity, social commentary that's still relevant today, gorgeous men... And we're all still here thirty years later, happy as pigs in shit. 😀😁🤣
06.01.2026
Jan. 6th, 2026 07:58 pmcknoirHappy late new year. For what it's worth.
I mostly logged in to say that I'm considering just leaving my name alone on here. Not because I'm gonna remain cheap, but because once I fully finish the name changes everywhere else (which basically means Twitch and Disord, at this point in time), this name will hopefully begin to fall into obscurity and make it harder for any future searchers to find this. Can't just make shit easy for them.
I mostly logged in to say that I'm considering just leaving my name alone on here. Not because I'm gonna remain cheap, but because once I fully finish the name changes everywhere else (which basically means Twitch and Disord, at this point in time), this name will hopefully begin to fall into obscurity and make it harder for any future searchers to find this. Can't just make shit easy for them.
current fandom events
Jan. 6th, 2026 06:59 pmsvgurlsnowflake_challenge is currently running throughout the month of January! You can jump in and catch up anytime. gamechangerhr is a community dedicated to Game Changers book series/Heated Rivalry TV series. Discussions & fanworks on Rachel Reid's other Hockey Romance books are also allowed/welcome. bookclub_dw is a Monthly Book Club where a host will pick three books, participants vote on them, and everyone reads the winner/discusses later.moodthemeinayear is a low-pressure community dedicated to creating a custom mood themeallbingo is running a Public Domain Bingo Fest through the month of January. There are pre-made cards or you can create your own based on the available prompts. candyheartsex, an exchange focused on both platonic and romantic relationships, is still open for sign-ups until January 7th, 11:59PM EST.purimgifts, an exchange focused on characters who are at least one of: women, Jewish, or persecuted (preferably by evil viziers), is open for both nominations and sign-ups until January 9th.rewrite_a_fic is a low-commitment, multi-fandom event dedicated to rewriting a fic you've written before. More info can be found HERE.fandom_empire is running a Monopoly Challenge. Sign-ups are open until January 15th, 11:59PM UTC. fancake's theme of the month is: crack treated seriously. Click on the banner below to learn more. 
friending_memes is hosting a new one for the New Year! 
Click the banner to join us and make some new friends!
⏾ 018
Jan. 6th, 2026 09:13 pmvisualjyushiI've been meaning to edit my sticky intro post and finally got around to doing that. I figured during the Snowflake Challenge would be a good time to do a bit of housekeeping with there likely being an influx of people visiting my blog. It's mostly the same info in a different format, but I also added my Storygraph link there. Not sure if anyone here uses it that much, but that's the place to go if you're interested in stalking the BL I read lol. I haven't been reading much else lately.
I haven't picked up any games these past few days (other than Genshin) in favor of writing or trying to do adulting tasks. I've been feeling a weird mix of anxious and lethargic over the past week. I'm probably a bit depressed since I don't have much reason to be outside on my days off. My brain prefers to be busy, I think. Things will change when spring semester starts, which I'm also nervous about. My last community college class is at an unfamiliar campus, so I need to take a trip down to it sometime before my class starts to find where the classrooms even are. I'd rather not make myself panic trying to find the right room on day one.
Also, I get my tattoo tomorrow so I'm mentally preparing myself to be in pain for a couple hours straight. It will be smaller than my previous ones so I'm hoping I don't get tattoo flu this time. Getting the tattoo will probably feel cathartic though. Body mods always give me a mental health boost because they're a special interest of mine.
I haven't picked up any games these past few days (other than Genshin) in favor of writing or trying to do adulting tasks. I've been feeling a weird mix of anxious and lethargic over the past week. I'm probably a bit depressed since I don't have much reason to be outside on my days off. My brain prefers to be busy, I think. Things will change when spring semester starts, which I'm also nervous about. My last community college class is at an unfamiliar campus, so I need to take a trip down to it sometime before my class starts to find where the classrooms even are. I'd rather not make myself panic trying to find the right room on day one.
Also, I get my tattoo tomorrow so I'm mentally preparing myself to be in pain for a couple hours straight. It will be smaller than my previous ones so I'm hoping I don't get tattoo flu this time. Getting the tattoo will probably feel cathartic though. Body mods always give me a mental health boost because they're a special interest of mine.
Recent Reading: In the Night Garden
Jan. 6th, 2026 06:26 pmrocky41_7First book of 2026! This was The Orphan's Tales: In the Night Garden by Catherynne M. Valente with illustrations by Michael Kaluta. I have no recollection of how this ended up on my TBR and I was a little skeptical checking it out in the library, but I'm glad I stuck with it because it ended up being a lot of fun and I will definitely check out the second volume.
You might be a little confused in the beginning, as In the Night Garden is a series of nested stories within stories and the style takes a minute to get used to, but it's worth it. Valente unfolds a veritable matryoshka of tales into neat blooms whose petals all fit together. Retroactive reveals and recontextualiations are delightful here.
Valente's vivid prose brings together her fantastical tales with such clarity; she attends frequently to all five senses, so that the reader knows what the characters are not only seeing, but hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling as well. There's obviously a lot of fairy tale inspiration here, but Valente definitely brings her own flavor. Women are almost always the hero of Valente's tales (though they play the villains too!) and there are such a great variety of them. Monsters abound too, but they get their chance to tell a tale too. (There's also some gentle ribbing at the Arthurian legends, with one witch lamenting about "all that questing" princes get up to.)
I was so engrossed in the work I didn't realize until quite late in the book how little romance factors into it. In a fairy tale inspired book like this, I would have expected a great many characters motivated by romance, but I can only think of two here who are primarily motivated by a love interest, and this delights me too. I'm arospec myself and while I enjoy a good tale of romance, I also weary of how frequently and totally it is centered in stories, so I was really enthused by how little that's the case here.
Friendship and family relationships do make frequent appearances though, and the friendship between the orphan teller of tales and the young boy hanging onto her words is the framing story. Love between mother and daughter, between brother and sister, even between strangers is a common thread.
She also avoids a pitfall I see in various modern fantasy stories which are so keen to explain the magic of their world they strip it of all mystery. Valente's world remains largely unexplained and asks the reader to simply take it as it is, which I found fun and appropriately mysterious.
The style of the book allows Valente to pull in a great many diverse characters and voices, which she does it well. Most impressive though is her ability to pull a cohesive tapestry out of all the various threads she's juggling.
A really fun and unusual story which I enjoyed a lot--a great start to a new year of reading!
You might be a little confused in the beginning, as In the Night Garden is a series of nested stories within stories and the style takes a minute to get used to, but it's worth it. Valente unfolds a veritable matryoshka of tales into neat blooms whose petals all fit together. Retroactive reveals and recontextualiations are delightful here.
Valente's vivid prose brings together her fantastical tales with such clarity; she attends frequently to all five senses, so that the reader knows what the characters are not only seeing, but hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling as well. There's obviously a lot of fairy tale inspiration here, but Valente definitely brings her own flavor. Women are almost always the hero of Valente's tales (though they play the villains too!) and there are such a great variety of them. Monsters abound too, but they get their chance to tell a tale too. (There's also some gentle ribbing at the Arthurian legends, with one witch lamenting about "all that questing" princes get up to.)
I was so engrossed in the work I didn't realize until quite late in the book how little romance factors into it. In a fairy tale inspired book like this, I would have expected a great many characters motivated by romance, but I can only think of two here who are primarily motivated by a love interest, and this delights me too. I'm arospec myself and while I enjoy a good tale of romance, I also weary of how frequently and totally it is centered in stories, so I was really enthused by how little that's the case here.
Friendship and family relationships do make frequent appearances though, and the friendship between the orphan teller of tales and the young boy hanging onto her words is the framing story. Love between mother and daughter, between brother and sister, even between strangers is a common thread.
She also avoids a pitfall I see in various modern fantasy stories which are so keen to explain the magic of their world they strip it of all mystery. Valente's world remains largely unexplained and asks the reader to simply take it as it is, which I found fun and appropriately mysterious.
The style of the book allows Valente to pull in a great many diverse characters and voices, which she does it well. Most impressive though is her ability to pull a cohesive tapestry out of all the various threads she's juggling.
A really fun and unusual story which I enjoyed a lot--a great start to a new year of reading!